How Vegeta Stole Christmas
by Freedom Rider 20
Summary: it's the classic Dr.Suess tale retold in a DBZ story with everyones favorite saiyan prince as the Grinch himself I hope you enjoy it
1. The Vegeta

**The story read here takes place after the Cell games,I hope you enjoy but please no flames**

Every one in West City ,enjoyed celibrating the Christmas time every year .

Even hearing the name ,made everyone cheer.

They where all happy with the Christmas spirits they got.

But the saiyan prince who resides in Capsule Corp does not.

Vegeta hated Christmas ,the whole winter season.

Now please don't ask why ,we don't quite know the reason.

It could be that his boots are too tight.

Or it could be that head wasn't on just right.

But the most obvious reason, that could top all that .

Would be his heart which happened to be the size of a rat.

But whatever the reason his heart ,or his foot tools.

Vegeta just stands there watching, hating the Christmas fools.

As he stares at what his wife had planned and plotted.

This made Vegeta upset as he stood up and shouted.

"Blasted humans and their stupid holiday rituals !" he said with a stern look in his eyes.

"Tonight's Bulma's wretched Christmas party,already I'm not surprised!"

For he knew that every year, before the day of Christmas would arrive.

Vegata's wife would throw Christmas parties and even provide.

Food, games, presents ,and music combined.

These would be just the things, to make Vegeta lose his mind.

"And whenever I try to act sick just so it can end."

Vegeta continued" that damn Bulma still makes me attend!"

"And every morning when I try to get extra sleep."

"Hearing Trunks awake bright and early next day, makes me weep."

Vegeta yells out with a roaring voice.

When it is something Bulma related, he has no choice.

For he knew that tonight, would be a night he'd want to forget.

Is Vegeta the guy who'll hate it you bet.

Let me tell you why he also hates Christmas ,so you'll know.

"Hey Narrator stop your yapping and start the show!"

I'm afraid I cannot, for you see we come to the end.

But fear not fare veiwers, another chapter we will send.

And it will explain the reason.

Why Vegeta hates the most joyous season.

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	2. I hate Christmas

We now return to our story.

So let us not waste time and hurry.

All we know is that Vegeta hates Christmas ,and its joyful cry.

And we're about to see the reason why.

First off every girl and every boy.

While their parents are conversing ,they rush for their toys.

Then they start to make lots of noise ,noise, noise.

"Kami how I hate that blasted noise ,noise ,NOISE!"

Vegeta then sat on a chair in his room.

Thinking of how else Christmas sealed his doom.

Next he started to think of something ,that got his anger increased.

"Afterwords they would gather together and start to feast"

"Yet before they could begin ,Bulma makes us all say grace."

"What the hell is a grace, I've never heard of such a word of disgrace!"

"Well anyways then they begin to 'dig in', as Bulma puts it."

"But dig into what this word is shit."

"Besides we're not digging, we're eating."

"Oh Kami this is more complicating then baloon inflating."

Vegeta had said, with an anger so high.

Then he started to think of food, that made him cry.

"Kami those blasted pigs ,and their creme brule, and fried lobster."

"And who could forget that Kami aweful peach cobbler."

Vegeta had said with a moan and groan.

"What I want now is to be left alone!"

Oh but Vegeta we haven't gotton to the best scene.

Come on Vegeta don't be so mean.

Anyways the part he hated most of all.

Is when everyone, the tall and the small.

They would stand around the tree hand in hand.

Next they'd all do something Vegeta can't stand.

They begin to stand together and sing.

"And they'd sing, and they'd sing, and they'd sing, sing, sing, SIIING!"

"Now you see why I hate Christmas, its nothing but brain rot."

"I'd rather be training to surpass KAKOROT!"

"Speaking of I wonder how he's doing, hope he's not burning in hell flames."

"Last time I saw him ,was when he died for us during the Cell games."

And the more Vegeta thought of the whole Christmas inside him aching.

The more Vegeta thought "I must stop this whole thing."

"Why for 13 damn years I,ve put up with it now"

"I must put an end to that blasted Bulma's Christmas party but how?"

He then stands up still with an angry look.

Went to the bookshelf ,and picked out a Christmas based book.

After sitting back down to read it,he thinks to himself.

"Funny I don't remember this in the bookshelf."

As he begins to read it, he thinks up a crime.

Thinking "theres got to be a way to make these people see, Christmas is a waste of time."

But after reading the book with eyes so sore.

He saw something interesting that wasn't there before.

This gave him an idea ,an aweful idea.

Vegeta got a wonderful aweful idea.

"I know just what to do" he said fill of glee.

"This plan will make these people see."

"That Christmas just isn't mean't to be", he said in a good mood.

"I'll ruin Bulma's little Christmas party so bad, that she'll stop throwing these useless parties for good."

"Afterwards they'll all see ,with their own two eyes."

"That their precious Christmas is nothing but lies."

And just you wait and see Vegeta's full plan after.

We finish up in the next chapter.

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	3. Vegata's plan commences

We now return with chapter 3.

Get ready and sit down for you will see.

Vegeta begin his plan ,to lock Christmas up.

"Hey you I'm tired of your yapping so SHUT UP!"

Fine I'll get with the story.

And for those of you who heard Vegeta's rant ,I'm so sorry.

So anyways after Vegeta is finished being sore.

A knock came from out the front door.

"Vegeta could you get the door, its probably the guests hurry up!"

"I'd get it myself, but I'm busy with hair and make up."

Bulma says tending to her hair with praise.

As Vegeta goes to answer ,making sure Bulma thinks everythings OK.

Who was at the door you may ask?

Why it none other than a large man dressed as Santa ,and in his hand a bottle of flask.

"Is this the Capsole Corp ?,I've been called in to entertain the kids."

This was Vegeta's chance he didn't want to blow it ,so he did what he did.

He told the drunk man a total fib ,saying" oh about that my good man."

"She decided to let me give her a helping hand."

"So shes giving you the day off, I know this is sudden."

"But I must agree you do look a bit drunken."

The drunk man agreed ,and replied "gee you know you're right."

"You and Bulma must be pretty tight."

"Just one thing before you go" Vegeta asks ,as the man was about to go through.

"You wouldn't mind leaving your santa attire here for me to use would you?"

This mas was stupid enough to replay "yeah sure of course you may."

He then took off his suit ,and gave it to Vegeta, then walks home in his underwear much to Vegeta's dismay.

Yet Vegeta moved that aside, and cleared his throught.

As he goes into his room, to try on his new hat and coat.

As he does so, he replies to himself "what a clever trick."

"With this coat and this hat, I will look just like that fat ."

Yet when he tried them on ,he soon discovered.

That his underpants and knees ,where no longer covered.

"Now this is just stupid my pants keep falling"

"How am I going to keep them up, for the guests that are coming?"

So Vegeta looked around for a belt ,or a sash.

But he did not own one, due to being low on cash.

Then when he saw a large pillow ,he began to realize.

"Who needs a belt, when I can improvise."

Vegeta took that pillow ,and stuffed it inside himself.

To make people beleive he's the jolly old elf.

"Now the plan shall commence, won't this be such fun."

"And just in time too ,hearing the doorbell ,I'd say now the Christmas party's begun."

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	4. Living room desatruction

When the doorbell was ringing ,Bulma goes to answer it.

Unkown of when Vegeta will make his hit.

As she let them in, they where introduced to an unexpected surprise.

Seeing Vegeta dressed as Santa, gave Bulma disbelief to her eyes .

"Vegeta where is the Santa I sent?"Bulma asked.

He replied " lets just say who couldn't handle what he was tasked."

Bulma understood what her husband had mean't.

"That drunk bastard I should'nt have had him sent."

"Thank you for filling in Vegeta you really are nice."

"Now get out there and lets break some ice."

But before Vegeta could get started entertaining.

He replies to Bulma "just let me reschedule my training."

When Vegeta went into the next however.

He was commencing his plan to end Christmas forever.

While Bulma started the party dining hall, with all her guests.

Vegeta started his plan ,with all his best.

Starting with the stockings, hanging on the chimney in a row.

"These stockings" he sneered "are the first things to go."

As he took them all off with one pull.

He then turns to me and says"this is dull."

"Why do you have to tell people everything I'm doing?"

"You know what forget this ,just get off my back."

"Either that or the Big Bang Attack!"

Alright calm down ,I'm only telling the tale.

I will now continue telling this story before I go pale.

"Now for those blasted toys I see on the tree."

"My Kami there aver 9000 of these I see!"

Yet he got started by stealing popguns, bicycles, rollerskates ,drums.

Checkerboards,tricycles ,popcorn ,and plums.

However instead of putting them in bags.

He throws them into the gravity chamber ,all a big drag.

Later he gets to the singing mechanical Santa with glasses.

"Kami I'd like to give this guy 40 lashes."

"But since he's given so much over the years."

"Now its time that I break you, and make you shed tears."

He then attacks the Santa music box ,with his Galic Gun.

And then he states "by Kami this is fun!"

He then demolishes the presents in the chamber.

And blasted them all ,sending them to their maker.

And this is where we'll stop.

Join us next time the next chapter will top.

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	5. Kitchen raid

After Vegeta's work was done in the living room.

He wen't to the kitchen to continue Christmas's doom.

We now return to Bulma trying not to let the party go stale.

She tries to keep the party going, by telling Christmas tales.

Meanwhile back at the kitchen, we see the prince saiyan.

Destroying all the fine China, hey I'm not complainen.

He then slunked into the fridge, and took the whole feast.

He took the Christmas cookies, and even the Roast Beast.

Cleaning out the fridge as quick as a flash.

He even took the last can of Who - hash.

"What the hell is who hash?"

"How can Bulma afford this trash?"

But he threw it away anyways ,and continued with glee.

"Now back to the living room to stuff up the damn tree."

Vegeta said as he grabs ahold of the pine.

And tries to throw it out the door without a wine.

While Vegeta was giving the tree a shove.

He heard behind the sound of a small dove.

From behind he saw a small young boy ,guess who?

Why it was Vegeta's young son Trunks, who was no more than two.

Who got up for some water from the sink.

Until he saw his father ,still without his drink.

He stared at his father ,and asked "Daddy why?"

"Why are you taking our tree why?"

Now Vegeta was a sly one and oh so slick.

So he thought up a lie ,and thought it up quick.

"Well you see son" the santa dressed saiyan lied.

"The tree in the other room won't shine on one side."

"So your mother is making me take this tree to that room you hear."

"I,ll fix it up there ,then I'll bring it back here"

The fib fooled young Trunks ,as his father patted him on the head.

And then gave Trunks a drink and sent him to bed.

"Daddy why is our celling talking over our heads?"

Vegeta replies"Trunks just take your drink and go back to bed."

After Vegeta sent Trunks to bed with his cup.

He continued with business and stuffed the tree up.

Next he set the pine tree on fire.

Now all thats left of it was wire.

And then he went back inside side, to see the work he's done.

He now knows full well what he's done.

"That should take care of this Christmas nonesense permenantly."

"Now they'll learn what I think about Christmas personally."

After gloating at the terrible deed he's done.

Vegeta left the room, and soon he was gone.

The only thing he didn't destroy in the house.

Was a crumb small enough for a mouse.

We are almost at the end .

Thank you for the reviews you send.

But stick around just a little bit farther.

Cause soon I'll update the final chapter.

**Please review**


	6. Learn about Christmas

Vegeta's work was finally done.

Now Vegeta returned to party and start the fun.

"Vegeta what took you so long" Bulma asked.

"Get off my back woman ,I was only gone 3 minutes past."

"Well anyways now that you're here, the party can start."

Bulma then continued "lets start with a feast ,thats always the best part."

But when she saw the kitchen, she gave out a yell.

Then said "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN, ITS A LIVING HELL!"

The first sign Vegeta's plan was working.

Knowing well the end of Christmas is already lurking.

Vegeta then ran outside, as the rest came in after.

Seeing them surprised ,made him roar with laughter.

After witnessing people surprised at the crime.

He grinned and said"they're finding out now ,it's a waste of time."

"They're getting this through their head's"

"And I'll know what they'll do instead."

"They'll hang their mouthes open for a minute or two."

"Then all those dim-witted fools will cry Boo-Hoo!"

"Thats a noise I simply must hear."

Vegeta then leaned over the door ,and put a hand on his ear.

However for Vegeta, instead of hearing crying, and tears.

He actually heard singing and cheers.

Vegeta peeked back inside to see what was going.

He hung his mouth open, seeing what went wrong.

Seeing what he saw, made Vegeta open his eyes.

What he saw was a shocking surprise.

Bulma's entire party the small and tall.

Where all singing carols, without any presents at all.

_"Good tidings we bring."_

_"To you and your kin."_

_"Glad tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year."_

_"We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."_

Vegeta hasn't proven anything, it just came.

Some how or the other, Christmas came just the same.

As Vegeta kept staring at this amazing sight.

He only said "these people aren't right."

"I blew up their presents, I destroyed their tags."

"I ANIALATED ALL THEIR PACKAGES ,BOXES ,AND BAGS!"

Vegeta now became puzzled ,soon it gave him bore.

Then he thought of something he hasn't before.

"Maybe Christmas" he thought "doesn't come from a store."

"Maybe Christmas...just means...a whole lot more."

What happened next ,well lets just say.

That Vegeta's heart grew 3 sizes that day.

Later Vegeta flew out for an hour or so.

Then returned with tons ,and a long way to go.

And the minute his heart did not feel so tight.

He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.

And when everyone saw Vegeta up arise.

They could not resist but act surprised.

For they saw what Vegeta with loads of presents.

And for the first time ,Bulma actually saw Vegeta pleasant.

"Vegeta I can't believe I'm seeing what you are doing."

"You're actually doing something Santa does giving."

Vegeta replies" all for the best my sweet darling."

"Now I know how you fell ,with Christmas and giving."

After his joy and giving ,thanks to being bitten by a Christmas bug.

He accompanied Bulma in a huge Christmas hug.

And after the hug they all had a Christmas feast.

And he ...he himself, Vegeta carved the roast beast.

"You know what that's it, I've told you to get off my back."

"But now you've asked for it, BIG BAAAAANG ATTACK!"

**The End**

* * *

**Hey everybody Goku here sure I wasn't in the story but I'm here to say now Merry Christmas from everyone here on Dragon Ball Z I hope you enjoyed this story I can't wait for you to review**


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